Dreams.
Have you ever had those dreams that keep repeating themselves? There is a dream that I keep on having, and I could never figure out what it means until I spent like an hour just thinking about it, and talking to my mom about it. In the dream, My step-dad comes home from work and usually he is all fun and happy, and says hi to us, but in my dream he just has a blank stare, and he doesn't blink, and he doesn't move except to walk in the door. In my dream I am about six years old, and I run up to him to say hi. I show him my school work, but he doesn't look, or even respond, he just stares. I act like nothing's different. Then I ask him if he wants to play with me, and again, he doesn't respond. I ask him again, and he looks at me for only a second, then looks straight again as he picks me up and carries me down the basement stairs. I wasn't scared, because I trusted him completely. When we get to the basement, it's really cold and I just say, "dad?" and he drops me on the basement floor, and I wake up when I hit the ground. The meaning is actually really obvious. I've always kind of had trouble with communicating with him. While I trust him completely, we have a lot of conflict, and I've always tried to communicate with him but it seems like he doesn't hear me, and the other way around too. I think this dream is kind of my subcoenscience longing for a better bond with him. Funny how dreams can seem so random, but really they have a lot of meaning if you take the time and think about the possible interperatations.