Jealousy

I was listening to this song about jealousy just the other day and it is so true. jealousy is usually associated with girls, because they always want to be someone they aren't, or have something that they don't, and whatever it is that you want usually looks so amazing and so perfect, when in reality, there are just different issues with other people's situations.

"Jealousy" by Natalie Merchant

Ooo, jealousy

Is she fine
So well bred
The perfect girl
A social deb

Is she the sort
You've always thought
Could make you
What you're not?

Ooo, jealousy

Is she bright so well read are there novels by her bed

Is she the sort
You've always said
Could satisfy
Your head?

Ooo, my jealousy

Does she talk
The way I do
Is her voice reminding you
Of the promises
The little white lies too
Sometimes, tell me
While she's touching you
Just by mistake
Accidentally do you say my name?

Villanelle

I have never tried to write a villanelle poem so here is my first attempt.

She consumes your heart when it weakens with fright,
But her game is one so fun to play.
She feeds your mind with strength to fight.

She is the flame that burns a candle at night,
And the shadow at your feet by day.
She consumes your heart when it weakens with fright.

But take a deep breath and it will be alright,
She will only steal from you what she may.
She feeds your mind with strength to fight.

To steal your pain, she blocks your sight,
She will be your ears, and control what you say,
She consumes your heart when it weakens with fright.

She isn't a bird, nor free and in flight.
Rather a lion who has spotted her prey.
She feeds your mind with strength to fight.

When she finds you, she leaps with incredible might,
When at last you give in, suddenly everything's okay.
She consumes your heart, when it weakens with fright,
She feeds your mind with strength to fight.
-written by me

I'm not going to tell you who/what "she" is, but I would like to know what you think.(:

Dreams.
Have you ever had those dreams that keep repeating themselves? There is a dream that I keep on having, and I could never figure out what it means until I spent like an hour just thinking about it, and talking to my mom about it. In the dream, My step-dad comes home from work and usually he is all fun and happy, and says hi to us, but in my dream he just has a blank stare, and he doesn't blink, and he doesn't move except to walk in the door. In my dream I am about six years old, and I run up to him to say hi. I show him my school work, but he doesn't look, or even respond, he just stares. I act like nothing's different. Then I ask him if he wants to play with me, and again, he doesn't respond. I ask him again, and he looks at me for only a second, then looks straight again as he picks me up and carries me down the basement stairs. I wasn't scared, because I trusted him completely. When we get to the basement, it's really cold and I just say, "dad?" and he drops me on the basement floor, and I wake up when I hit the ground. The meaning is actually really obvious. I've always kind of had trouble with communicating with him. While I trust him completely, we have a lot of conflict, and I've always tried to communicate with him but it seems like he doesn't hear me, and the other way around too. I think this dream is kind of my subcoenscience longing for a better bond with him. Funny how dreams can seem so random, but really they have a lot of meaning if you take the time and think about the possible interperatations.

Embarrassment

There is only one time in my entire life that I can think of that has been super embarrassing for me. I was in Las Vegas one summer when I was about 8 years old.. And we were in the swimming pool so (obviously) I was swimming. I swam along the wall from one end of the pool to the other and one of the times I came up for air, I grabbed onto the wall around a guy who was just sitting on the edge.. I don't realize he was there until I wiped my eyes and opened them to see his face not 3 inches from mine. It was sooooo embarrassing and to this day my mom makes fun of me for it haha(: